I'm still a little twitchy

I used to like October.  The change of seasons is refreshing.  Leaves turning colors, crisp air, all that sort of stuff.  Now it seems that October just makes me apprehensive and uneasy.  Two years ago my husband and I had the October from hell.  There is no explaining the build up of pressure that happened all around us.  A lot of it didn't happen directly to us, so much as it seemed like every thing around us crumbled.  Over the course of one month six people we knew died.  Some, like my Aunt's passing was sad, but not tragic.  My friends niece dying at age 12 in a car accident was tragic.  Lenny OD-ing in a hotel room came as a shock, too.  Another two were lost to cancer.  Our neighbor had been unhealthy for a while, but none of us thought he was gonna up and die right then.  Two others were injured in a way that neither of them will ever fully recover.  With one of them we still don't know exactly what the hell happened, head injury, possible bear attack, unfortunately when our friend came out of his two month coma, he had no clue as to what happened.  My husband and then 4yr old daughter got H1N1.  Pretty much the highlight of the month was the cat breaking his leg. 
     I've been thinking about some of them a lot lately.  I miss them.  So I'm gonna try to keep a lid on it, but every once in a while I look back at that month and still get a little shakey.  October sure ain't what it used to be.